Burning light

Today I would like to talk about a film called “I hire a contract killer” of the Finland director Aki Kaurismäki. This film is set in England and tells the story of a French man that after spending fifteen years working as an accountant he get sack because the company needs to save money and, as he is French, the company decide to dismiss him. Because he had spend his youth working in a that horrible place, and he didn’t had anything else in life, he decide to commit suicide, but he fail at every attempt he made, or he get cold feet and resign from it at the last minute. So, because of that he decided to hire a contract killer.  And because of that, he doesn’t have the tinniest idea of who the hell is the killer or when he will be murder.

The film is from 1989 and is a little low budget so is not very good, is not that I think that a film needs to have a lot of money invested for to be good, is just that this film is a bit lost. but it has a plus (actually two great things) one the protagonist is the French actor Jean Pierre Leaud, and I like him a lot, he was the protagonist of the five films about Antoine Doinel of Truffaut. And two in one scene of the film the protagonist is running away from the guy he think it might be the killer and hide inside a bar and in the bar there is a singer on stage and that singer is no one else but JOE STRUMMER himself. If the film had turned out to be bad I would have mind just because of that scene, I love when things like that happen in a film.

The film in general is pretty weird, I don’t know what genre is it, but I quite like it. The actors play their parts weirdly, a bit like over acting or under-acting… I don’t know, but is weird. I think that is because is definitely a comedy but everyone acts as if it were the most tragic drama of the world, everyone is really serious, even the film is filmed in a dramatic way. At times I think the film get a little boring, but maybe is because when I watched I expected a lot more action, because of the exiting plot, but nothing like that happen in the film. And after all I think that the film is like life itself, everyone lives the most exiting drama on their own heads, but everything is a lot more simple that that, even if you hire a contract killer.

However,  this isn’t a great film but I couldn’t think in any other film to write about right now, maybe is because I was listening to The Clash this morning, I don’t know.

PS. Now that I’m finishing I come to realize that this post is really lame. But what the hell my job is done! is not like if my other post were good.

I was looking for a job and then a find a job… And heaven knows I’m miserable now.

We all must work in order to survive, that’s a fact and we all agree with it. For many people the thing is simple: Job= money= goods. Is a no mistaken equation, right? We seek in this goods the satisfaction and the return of our invest time- the time we spend working is compensated by this brand new I-pod (that I don’t really need) -that’s what we said. Well, of course that we also work because we need to pay for things we do need (like a house, food and later on our own coffin). But not everything must come down to that. The time we spend working is our life and if we waist our time doing something we hate, but day dreaming about getting that I-pod, we are going to be miserable. If we hate our job we do it wrong and we make it hard for the people that work with us and that may like the job. So I think that we all should look for jobs that we like (at least a little bit).
I know that not everybody can afford to have a vocational job, that sometimes we like a job but the pay is not enough, etc. But I think that every job is an opportunity of learning something about ourself. For example, when I was a little girl I use to think that working in a library was a great job, ‘till I do it, so I learn that librarian was a bad job for me.
However, the job subject is very much related to the character subject, I mean everything depends on what kind of person we are. I once read a study of the anthropologist Helen Fisher and she describe 4 types of personalities: explorer, builders, directors and negotiator. Each one were related to the level of some kind of hormone in our brain (I don’t remember the names in English)*. But, for example explorer were the kind of people that were always looking for challenges and new sensations, they were open mind people, but on the down side they were risk taker and with an inclination to have drug addictions, this kind of people should get jobs as parachute instructors, or something like that; the builders on the other hand were serious, correct and traditional people, and very much reliable, a job as a judge in the supreme court would be fine for them; then the directors are the brainy ones, the ones that spend too much time examining things and that likes to make the decisions, then, as a fault, they may be stubborn; and last but not least the negotiator, which are the kind of sensitive people that are always seeking for answers, they are very empathic with other people and have a hard time making decisions. We all have a little bit of all of these four personalities but one or two domains above the others, and this should be a way of knowing what type of job we should seek.
For me, for my personality, as I say it in an early post, should be a job that makes me travel and that occupied all my life, I would say that I would like to be a writer, but I don’t know if I have what it takes to do such thing, anyway I will try (but secretly). I think that I would like to be a weekly columnist in some newspaper, spend my time traveling and writing about interesting things, that would be ideal, because is not a job that requires to work with a lot of people, which would be hard for me -but most of all for my co-workers- because I like to take my own decisions, I’m very independent. So, I would like to be an anthropologist/writer/globetrotter.

Well that’s it for this week.

* Now I do: Explorer have more dopamine on their brains, builders have more serotonin, deirectors have more testosterone and negotiators have more estrogen.

Frank McCourt

Hi, today I must write about one historical character that I would like to meet, and as always is hard to choose just one. But, what I’m gonna do is to write about a person that maybe it didn’t do so much for the historic development of the world and is not well known, but I think that the history is not build around big events and historic characters but for process that were move for the simple people.

In the first place I must say that I love writers I admired them very much, especially literature writers. I really like the interaction between an author and the reader. When you read a book you are not only knowing a story you are also knowing the writer and most of the time yourself, I mean you are what you read, right?, especially when you are a child, I think that then those books you read became part of you. That’s why the person I would like to meet is a writer.

I haven’t decided yet, but I think that my favorite book is “Angela’s ashes” written by Frank McCourt , this is an autobiography and in this book the author tell us the story of his hard childhood in the Irish city of Limerick. I don’t know if is the best book ever written, I’m not the one to judge that, but what I know is that it is a wonderful book. The author tell us about his childhood narrating from his past child voice, and he put you in a hard world from the child innocent perspective and what you find there is shocking, hilarious and many times to rough to even bear it.  

I would like to meet this author because 1) His books are great and I am so happy everytime I read one of his books, beside I think that he is like me, he likes words, in one part of Angela’s Ashes he said that he loves Shakespeare's work because is like having jewelry in your mouth, and I feel the same, I really enjoy language (as strange as this might sound). But the second reason of my inclination toward this person is because he was a resilient person, I mean he had a difficult childhood but the way he speak of it and the memories that he kept are the memories of a person that loves life and believe in goodness. In many parts of Angela's Ashes he speak of the little moments of joy that he had as a child and speak of those moments with great passion, like if his whole life where reduced to those single moments, and I feel ashamed of myself because I’m always forgetting the good stuff but I’m always remembering the bad moments.

I would like to continue speaking of this author because I find him fascinating, but I can’t. all I want to say is that I would like to have met him, but he died last year. I don’t know what question would had made, but spend sometime with him listening to some of his stories would had being great.

blur

      I find extremely hard to talk about my current favorite song because there isn’t just one. Plus, to talk about how my favorite song make me feel and why it is special to me doesn’t make it any easier. But I’ll try anyway.
     Well, even though I like to look for new songs, I’m constantly turning back to old classics, I mean there is no one like Morrissey (for example) to express how I feel. 
       And my favorite song, right now, is “she’s so high” from the British band “blur”. It’s been so many years since I hear it for the first time that I don’t remember when was it. But the song didn’t use to be one of my favorite. Its distorted sound and the repetitive lyrics (that when I was a little girl didn’t understand) made it a good song, but not great. But I’m a music lover and my theory about music is that what I DON'T like is 1) what  I don’t know; 2) what I don’t understand and 3) reggaeton.
     A while ago I listened this song again and I pay it real attention to the lyrics, and to my surprise I found myself loving it and, at the same time, I felt a bit uncomfortable about the lyrics, like if they were rubbing those lyrics in my face, like if Damon Albarn (the vocalist) were making fun of me, by guessing what's was going through my mind. i'm sure they just got wrong the pronoun. Now I understand that its distorted sound, the repetitive lyrics, etc. are part of the meaning of the song, it’s what completes the whole idea, and the obsessive tempo goes really well with the lyrics.
     Some people find Blur a bit shallow, but I think that it's because they haven’t pay real attention to their songs; I mean they can be sarcastic and sometimes brutally direct (like in this song). It’s a really good band; Damon Albarn is a great musician and Graham Coxon (the lead guitarist) one of the most gifted guitarist. Even if someone doesn’t like blur they got to admit that their music was innovator and impeccable.
    They are not my favorite band, though. But once in a while I listen some of their song in the radio and then I spend the rest of the day with that song stuck in my head.

London Calling!

Hi! Today’s topics it’s a great one, I’ll be talking about which country I want to visit.

I must say that travelling it’s the only way I can see myself in the future. I would like to travel to so many places that I would probably need to live twice to do that (and a lot of money as well). As every young person I don’t want to end up with an office job, but (and this is the weird part) I want to have a job that requires my entire dedication, I mean for example I don’t want to work eight hours a day and then go home and have my personal life set apart from my work, NO I want a work on which I can dedicate my life (the whole of it). Cause I really believe that I’m the sort of person that can spend a year studying the architecture of a cathedral, as long as I can be in a place like Rumania, and then move to Madagascar (for example).

But before, I want to go to England, the United Kingdom in general or even Ireland. I know this may sound a little snobbish but I’ve  spend so many years listening bands from places like Manchester and reading books and novels from British authors that I really wanna go there, specially for the comedy, I love to watch British’s sitcoms. I think comedy it’s best way of knowing people, I mean if you know the type of sense humor that someone has then you’ll know pretty much everything about his/her personality; and judging by their sense of humor, I think that British people must be really nice (I know how subjective that is but anyway…) . I think that it is a great country. I like Latin-American culture as well, but anyway I want to go to England, mainly because it’s one of the fewest countries that have real job opportunities for people with an art history degree. I would like to go there and take a graduate degree in archeology, or something related to social and cultural studies, and work (of course this is day dreaming only), live there for a couple of year and then see what’s next.

Another place that I would like to visit is Israel, because I want to study Jewish culture, actually next year I want to take a diploma course in religious studies with focus on Jewish religion. I’ve always been interesting in that culture, etnia and religion (because Judaism is those three things at once). I don’t know what to expect from that country because last semester I took a course in Judaism (a CFG, which it’s not much) and what I’ve learn from that it’s that it so wide the expectrum of Judaism that it’s very difficult to understand it fully.

Well that’s it, If I’m lucky and smart (If I’m lucky enough to be smart, actually) I’ll move to London , because for what I know (and have read)it’s the city with the largest mixture of cultures in the world, that sounds to me like it’s the capital of the world.

Mapuches

     Well, I don’t know much about the Mapuche’s situation, it’s a shame I know, because we all should care about it. It’s not the lack of caring what kept me away from the problem, it’s just that if I want to know what is happening I would have to look at newspapers (or the media in general) and it’s an unavoidable fact that every information source it’s a little bit influence by some of the sides.
     By nature, moral and humanity I’ll be inclined to the Mapuche’s side, partially because I'm against the goverment and everything they stand for, but anyway I want to know the pure facts and the media hide this information or sweet it up for us in order to make us believe that this is not as important (or more) than the miners situation. So there it is! My excuse for my lack of knowledge.
     I do believe it’s unfair what is happening, but it’s more unfair that from the beginning of this all situation the news (and the government) were hiding it and now, that it’s too much for denial the problem, it’s being shown and use like a nationalistic metaphor in order to make people believe that is utterly fair what is happening to the Mapuches (At least that is what I have seen). I mean, to hear what the president said at the ONU conference the other day was a crying shame, when he implied that the Mapuches were unconscious people, because mean while there was an entire country devoted to save the life of thirty two, there were others that were attempting against their own life (and all the rest of the shitty things he said). Beside I’ve hear some people saying things like “the Mapuches don’t even consider themselves as Chilean, why should we be worrying about them?” and all those ignorant, prejudice and extremely dull arguments to justify the unjustifiable. I think that all those things are unfair, cause it takes away the credibility and the importance that we should be giving to the matter. A hunger strike it's the most extrem way of show us  that it is important to discus some themes because are people willing to go all the way through in order to make others understand their problems.
     The whole problem with the Mapuches it’s because the lack of identity that we have always had. We cheat ourselves with all the (what can be perfectly call) plastic traditions and the bicentenary illusion to make ourselves believe that we are part of something call Chile, but the true is that we do not belong to anywhere, many people say that they love Chile and their beautiful landscape, etc. but they don’t hold respect for the environment (for example), and so on with all the rest of the things that are in this country. All those things got me thinking that maybe we don’t really have a culture, it’s sad and maybe extreme but it’s true, in one hand we denial our origins and on the other we pretend to have other orings that are extremely mystified by the old continent. That it's such phony identity that it is very clear to me that holidays like September the eighteen are not a national independence holiday (cause either way it’s not even the real independence day) and instead is, as I call it above, “the September 18th holiday” a day for eat and drink the equivalent to our own body weight. Beside is so obvious how uncomfortable some people look when they try to do something “traditional”, it looks so out of place!
     So, sure! we don’t fully understand why it's so important for the Mapuches to continued having the way of living that they have had for hundred of years, and that it's partially because we are so far from their reality. we spend too much time trying to brake the link that we must, at some point, had with our origins, that understand a whole different form of view the world it’s difficult. I think that the only thing we can do it’s to open our mind and get out of ourselves at least a little bit, and especially, get out of our phony, hedonist and capitalist thought, especially when it is a fact of life or dead.

Nowhere man... (actually woman)

     While I was writing the last three posts I thought that it would be a lot easier if I could just choose the theme of them¸ but now that I must choose it, paradoxically, I can't choose anything. That’s because it could be anything, and doesn’t really matter what I write about as long as I do it.

     Two hundred and fifty words of anything, that’s what I been told to do. I find that a bit anguishing because I must choose something, but there is no subject in particular that makes me get inclined to it. So, how can I choose when there is nothing to choose?.. or everything to choose?.. See what I mean?

     At first I though that whatever I write about it must be something cool, that makes people read it and maybe convince someone that I’m cool (thought I'm not), but that’s not easy to do, cause even if a choose some cool theme, nothing can assure that it would be cool executed, cause probably it won’t be well written. Actually the fact that my native language it’s Spanish, and that my brain works the syntax in that way, can assure that whatever I write about would end up being structurally lame, even though the theme is cool.

     Anyway, at first I though about music as a theme, I though that a post about some, not well known, but anyway great musician it would be something great to write about. So I thought about Nick Drake (cause I just love him) and the British folk scene of the 60’s. But then figured that for that purpose it would be necessary to start talking about the USA folk scene, which is something that it would take a lot more time (and a lot more words). I mean of course I could just let all that out of my post, and concentrate in describing how unbelievable lonesome you get to feel when you listen to songs like “place to be”, but I know myself and I can not get to just one point, I’m very disperse. That’s why; even though it seems a simple task, I can’t just choose one subject.

     The thing is that I’m afraid that my post will turn out to be crappy and everybody who read this would think that it’s crappy. So even though I think that literature would be a great theme for me to choose, I won’t choose it, cause as much as love books (especially the way they smell… and I’m not creepy!) I don’t know if I had what it takes to make a “worthy to read” critic.

     I guess there are a lot of things that I would like to talk about, like my geeky love for dinosaurs and my geeky guilty pleasure for watching the vlogbrothers on youtube (if you don’t know who the hell are they I would highly recommended, unless you are some kind of bully kid who doesn’t appreciate nerd culture). But the problem of the lack of topic in this post (I’m really sorry for that) it’s doom to my lack of concentration… not just now but always.

     About this last point, I have to say that in many ways I’m some kind of envious of past generations, cause they had this type writing machines that were created for the only purpose of writing, which kept them away from any distraction. Nowadays we can’t fully focus on writing without stopping every five minutes to check something on google or any other web site. This is something I’m constantly fighting with when I have to write an essay. Cause starts with me, sitting in my desk chair, with the propos of remain there till’ the most clever observation, from Peter Bürger’s book (or any other theorist), come out of my brain, but nothing happen, so I became all frustrated and start questioned my intelligence or my talent (or the lack of it) and everything turns out to be just a random ramblings about nothing… just like this post.

     The reason I’m writing this it’s because I thought that maybe I’m not the only person who feels like this, and also because I once read that John Lennon wrote the song Nowhere man one day that he was feeling that he was out of inspiration (though, the fact he wrote it shows that he was, in fact, inspired). So, as that song turn out to be one the greatest songs ever written by The Beatles, I though that this post could also be great (but I know it won’t).

so, good night unto you all!